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Bad Boyfriend Traits – What Causes Them?

Most of us can think back to at least one bad relationship in our adult life, but some of us seem to have a predilection for choosing Mr Wrong again and again. But what are the bad boyfriend traits and what is the underlying cause of such despicable characteristics?

Bad boyfriend traits – what causes them?

Not all men are Prince Charming, in much the same way as there are plenty of women out there who are less than nice. It is human nature and nobody is perfect after all. Lots of ladies have met or dated the archetypal “bastard”, just as lots of men can claim to have dated a “bitch”. However, whilst most of us have (if we are being honest) a few less than nice facets to our personalities, there are some people who fall into a whole new category of mad, bad, and truly dangerous to know.

So before you get sucked into yet another dysfunctional relationship, learn how to spot the bad boyfriend traits!

Narcissistic personality disorder

Narcissistic men will shower you with attention in the early stages of a relationship, but once you disappoint them in some way, you are knocked off the pedestal and become the subject of all kinds of manipulative abuse. A narcissist loves himself far more than he can ever love you. He will be a pathological liar and a social climber. He will enjoy hurting you because he is unable to empathise with your pain. If you are dating a narcissist, you better get used to standing in his shadow because nobody else is allowed to be the centre of attention. And if you dare to end the relationship, be prepared to deal with his irrational rage and tantrums.

Passive aggressive men

Passive aggressive men are the ultimate commitment phobic men. If you are dating one of these types of men, do not be surprised if he never does as he says and you have a hard time getting him to commit to a date next week, let alone in a month. You will never coax a straight answer out of a passive aggressive man: they thrive on keeping you in the dark as to their true motives. And if they openly admit they are treating you badly, you had better believe it, because they really are and there is no way they will change.

Borderline personality disorder

Borderline personality disorder is relatively rare and at least 75% of cases will be women, but this does not mean you should assume that men are never afflicted: it does happen! So what are the signs of a man with borderline personality disorder? Another name for this condition is “emotionally unstable personality disorder”. Men who fall into this category are prone to wild mood swings and have problems maintaining normal relationships. Bouts of black depression and an overwhelming fear of abandonment are common with this type of personality, as are addictive traits such as substance abuse. In the worst cases, patients can suffer symptoms of extreme psychosis, so if this sounds like your men, he needs help.


These guys are the ultimate bad boyfriends: operating on a set of different morals to the rest of us, sociopaths are nevertheless very charming and possess great social skills. They are the types who will charm the hind legs of a donkey while contriving to ensnare you in their deadly web of lies and debauchery. Sociopaths are often very cruel, as they cannot empathise with others. They will never take responsibility for their actions so don’t expect to win an argument with a sociopathic boyfriend, and they are deceitful, cheaters, and highly impulsive. Sociopaths can also be very aggressive and violent, and there are some very famous sociopath serial killers out there.

These are obviously extreme examples of bad boyfriend types, but do not sit back, relax, and think you are unlikely to meet one of these charming individuals: many men show different degrees of personality disorders, so it pays to be able to spot the tell-tale signs before you are caught unawares.

If my article is too late and you are already caught up in a dysfunctional relationship, consider seeking professional advice and tread carefully. Some bad boyfriends can be dangerous!

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2 Responses to Bad Boyfriend Traits – What Causes Them?

  1. bella says:

    This year around october 2011 i started dating a guy named ty. At the beginning of the relationship things were really good. He was the best guy to me and was always there. A few months into it issues and problems started to happen. He wouldnt always be honest with what he was doing and who he was hanging out with. And the first month we were together a girl claimed she had sex with him he denied it and said it never happened. We had been on and off for a few months. I was getting fed up with everything and called it quits last month. Its been hard cuz i still have strong feelings for him. He was the first guy i lost my virginity to. He turned 18 in december and im 16 still durin 17 in may. Wen me and him were on and off i gave him so many chances and we would be good for a while then the issues would come back. We go to the same skool together wen i called it off for good. He would always think we can work it out and be together. Hes hurt me thru so much emotionally. I found out recently thru my new bf i been dating. That wen we were together he always had alot of girls over. And that he had sex wit one of my friends wen i was still with him. He would always say he never cheated and wouldnt do that to me. Wen he actually did. My ex found out i was datin my new bf and got really pissed. And was going around saying hes gunna kick his aaa. While i would be walking to class he would stare and just yell, cuss me out. Now me and him dont talk at all. Wen he seems me now its just stares. I just hate the fact i see him at skool and we cant even say hi. Im really happy with my current bf i really am. He treats me with so much respect and we have alot of fun together. Im the kind of person i hate having bad blood with people. Me and my bf are still private about us cuz we dont want drama and people knowing about us. Wat should i do about my ex ty?

    • rachel says:

      Your ex is not worth wasting another minute over. He clearly has an awful lot of growing up to do, so be thankful you didn’t waste any more time crying over him and have now met someone worthy of your love. Accept that you can’t be friends with this guy – he isn’t emotionally mature enough to handle it. To be honest, I would stay out of his way where possible and if you do happen to see him, just blank him. Enjoy being with your new boyfriend and forget about the old one! You’ll probably always have a soft spot for him, but don’t let this ruin your current relationship. One day you will look back and think “what did I see in that idiot?” :)

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